Who needs to look good naked?

 Suck-me-in undies are God’s gift to women, our secret weapon, and the answer to Visible Panty Lines, belly bulges and thunder thighs. And the most satisfying part-men have no idea that our tight bum and smooth tum could explode at anytime from the beige spandex and nylon prison we’ve squished our wobbly bits into.
 It’s nothing to be ashamed of - admitting that your Bridget Jones-type underwear is your answer to the shake, soup and starve yourself diets. No need to bother yourself eating a carrot stick a day when for the low price of $50 we can pop into DJ’s and solve all our muffin top woes with a pair of the most unattractive underpants known to man or woman. 
  I remember my cousins and I giggling at nannas elephantine undies swinging on the clothesline in the breeze, then being horrified coming home from school seeing a whole row of my mother’s on the line - I hadn’t remembered her graduating to granny pants status. 
 Then as my school formal loomed and 17-year-old puppy fat had failed to disappear, my mum lovingly gave me a pair and told me it would be our little secret. So - ahem - yes!  I wore a pair of monster-sized undies to my school formal. I often wonder if it was Mum’s sneaky plan to ensure my pimply date didn’t slide his hand where it shouldn’t have been, as there was no way any boy was getting a gawk at my heinous ...um, I mean new slimming secret.
 The fact is, however, that men really couldn’t give a toss. It’s not like they are going to spend all that time wooing you, coaxing you to take your kit off, clumsily attempt to unclip your bra and then “Whoa - what the hell, sorry I didn’t realise your arse had been taken captive by Triumph - sorry gotta go, I’ll call you next lifetime”.
  No. They rip them off and dig in, so to speak. Support underwear is just another torture tool to assert authority over our bodies, like the push-up bra and 10-inch stilettos; they make us appear as if we would look smoking hot naked and hurrah it usually works.
  Channel 10 premiered a show called Look Good Naked and quite frankly it was a brilliant show. They got average, everyday women and taught them to either love their bodies - or master the art of hiding their flaws and accentuating their assets. From fake tan, to tidy body hair to investing in body contouring underwear, by the end of the episode women almost had enough confidence to strip their food-stained trackie-dacks off in front of a crowd and start swinging around a pole – that’s how sexy they felt!
  OK, so maybe I’m exaggerating slightly - but they did learn to love themselves so much that maybe, just maybe, they’ll be confident enough to have sex with the lights on.

 Just make sure it’s soft lighting, oh and not too close.