BY: Andy Flemming.
There’s a four lettered word
As offensive as any
It holds back the few
Puts a stop to the many.
You can’t climb that mountain
You can’t cross the sea
You can’t become anything you want to be.
He can’t hit a century
They can’t find a cure.
She can’t think about leaving or searching for more.
Because Can’t is a word with a habit of stopping
The ebb and the flow of ideas
It keeps dropping
itself where we know in our hearts it’s not needed
And saying “don’t go” when we could have succeeded.
But those four little letters
That end with a T
They can change in an instant
When shortened to three.
We can take off the T
We can do it today
We can move forward not back
We can find our own way.
We can build we can run
We can follow the sun
We can push we can pull
We can say I’m someone
Who refuses to believe
That life can’t be better
With the removal of one
Insignificant letter.
28.7.12
22.7.12
Most words are healing.
Regina Brett's 45 life lessons and 5 to grow on
1. Life isn't fair, but it's still good.2. When in doubt, just take the next small step.
3. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
4. Don't take yourself so seriously. No one else does.
5. Pay off your credit cards every month.
6. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.
7. Cry with someone. It's more healing than crying alone.
8. It's OK to get angry with God. He can take it.
9. Save for retirement starting with your first paycheck.
10. When it comes to chocolate, resistance is futile.
11. Make peace with your past so it won't screw up the present.
12. It's OK to let your children see you cry.
13. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
14. If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn't be in it.
15. Everything can change in the blink of an eye. But don't worry; God never blinks.
16. Life is too short for long pity parties. Get busy living, or get busy dying.
17. You can get through anything if you stay put in today.
18. A writer writes. If you want to be a writer, write.
19. It's never too late to have a happy childhood. But the second one is up to you and no one else.
20. When it comes to going after what you love in life, don't take no for an answer.
21. Burn the candles, use the nice sheets, and wear the fancy lingerie. Don't save it for a special occasion. Today is special.
22. Overprepare, and then go with the flow.
23. Be eccentric now. Don't wait for old age to wear purple.
24. The most important sex organ is the brain.
25. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.
26. Frame every so-called disaster with these words: "In five years, will this matter?"
27. Always choose life.
28. Forgive everyone everything.
29. What other people think of you is none of your business.
30. Time heals almost everything. Give time time.
31. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
32. Your job won't take care of you when you are sick. Your friends will. Stay in touch.
33. Believe in miracles.
34. God loves you because of who God is, not because of anything you did or didn't do.
35. Whatever doesn't kill you really does make you stronger.
36. Growing old beats the alternative - dying young.
37. Your children get only one childhood. Make it memorable.
38. Read the Psalms. They cover every human emotion.
39. Get outside every day. Miracles are waiting everywhere.
40. If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else's, we'd grab ours back.
41. Don't audit life. Show up and make the most of it now.
42. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful.
43. All that truly matters in the end is that you loved.
44. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.
45. The best is yet to come.
46. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.
47. Take a deep breath. It calms the mind.
48. If you don't ask, you don't get.
49. Yield.
50. Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift.
A history lesson.
Let’s get educated today. Ever wondered where the phrase ‘piss poor” came from or why we hold a wake? And you will shiver when you hear why we say ‘saved by the bell”
They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.........if you had to do this to survive you were “Piss Poor”. But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn’t even afford to buy a pot...........they “didn’t have a pot to piss in” & were the lowest of the low.
The next time you are washing your hands and complain because the water temperature isn’t just how you like it, think about how things used to be. Here are some facts about the 1500s:
Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May, and they still smelled pretty good by June.. However, since they were starting to smell....brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.
Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, “Don’t throw the baby out with the Bath water!”
Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath. It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying “It’s raining cats and dogs.”
There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That’s how canopy beds came into existence.
The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt. Hence the saying, “Dirt poor.” The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Hence: a thresh hold.
In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.
Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, “bring home the bacon.” They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.
Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.
Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.
Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.
England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night (the graveyard shift.) to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer…
Do you know any others? Feel free to dispense any useless information here....
18.7.12
How is it that at my age I’m still getting pimples? I’m not a teenager anymore for crying out loud!
I used to have seriously terrible skin. I’m not talking about having one or two pimples. I’m talking a whole colony of the ugly little things that invaded my t-zone and made me look like Harry Potter’s Dobby going through puberty.
I’d have had enough confidence to be able to take Daniel up on his offer of a date. And talk to my friends without worrying that they were thinking about my pimples rather than listening to what I was saying. I know that compared to many, many other things, pimples are a first world problem. But they are an embarrassing problem that had serious consequences on my self-esteem as a teenager. For two years of my life I made it a rule to avoid general eye contact. That’s not really a great way to live.
And I tried everything to clear up my skin. I sampled about a thousand different products over the years, including a weird industrial-strength cream that discoloured half of my clothes. I stopped eating chocolate, which for me was kind of like the equivalent of a fish giving up water. I changed my pillowcases every day. I didn’t squeeze. Then I did squeeze. Then I got scars. NOTHING. WORKED.
It took a looooong time, but eventually, my skin cleared. My hormones stopped their raging benders, settled into old age and started doing things like knitting jumpers and playing Bingo. I felt instantly better. More carefree. Like an inflamed, puss-ey weight had been lifted from my shoulders. (I’m sorry I used the word ‘puss-ey, which is not even a real word.)
But here’s the truly unfair thing. I’m an adult now and I STILL get pimples. It’s nothing like it used to be but there are still occasions when I’ll go to look in the mirror and BAM, out of nowhere comes a big red bump. When I’ve got bad PMS or am particularly stressed about work – the first place it shows is on my face. WHY?
I’m no longer a 14-year-old. I’m an adult. In my eyes, it’s the epitome of unfairness. But at least there are now companies that are producing products that actually work to cover up and treat pimples. So I can still dress up, go out and have a great time – without retreating into the hermit ways of my teenage years.
Oh, and all my clothes stay the same colour. Bonus!
I’d have had enough confidence to be able to take Daniel up on his offer of a date. And talk to my friends without worrying that they were thinking about my pimples rather than listening to what I was saying. I know that compared to many, many other things, pimples are a first world problem. But they are an embarrassing problem that had serious consequences on my self-esteem as a teenager. For two years of my life I made it a rule to avoid general eye contact. That’s not really a great way to live.
And I tried everything to clear up my skin. I sampled about a thousand different products over the years, including a weird industrial-strength cream that discoloured half of my clothes. I stopped eating chocolate, which for me was kind of like the equivalent of a fish giving up water. I changed my pillowcases every day. I didn’t squeeze. Then I did squeeze. Then I got scars. NOTHING. WORKED.
It took a looooong time, but eventually, my skin cleared. My hormones stopped their raging benders, settled into old age and started doing things like knitting jumpers and playing Bingo. I felt instantly better. More carefree. Like an inflamed, puss-ey weight had been lifted from my shoulders. (I’m sorry I used the word ‘puss-ey, which is not even a real word.)
But here’s the truly unfair thing. I’m an adult now and I STILL get pimples. It’s nothing like it used to be but there are still occasions when I’ll go to look in the mirror and BAM, out of nowhere comes a big red bump. When I’ve got bad PMS or am particularly stressed about work – the first place it shows is on my face. WHY?
I’m no longer a 14-year-old. I’m an adult. In my eyes, it’s the epitome of unfairness. But at least there are now companies that are producing products that actually work to cover up and treat pimples. So I can still dress up, go out and have a great time – without retreating into the hermit ways of my teenage years.
Oh, and all my clothes stay the same colour. Bonus!
14.7.12
Does txting make u want to gr8 ur teeth?!
Let’s talk about textual attraction. I don’t get it. I’d like to un-subscribe. Call me old-fashioned but when texting, I prefer a conversation with no gr8’s or lol’s. However, as with the election, I’m forced to participate. I’m not alone. 250 million texts whiz around Aussieland every month. How many people, I wonder, are like me and cringe when I hear that little beep beep? Especially at 4- flipping- o’clock in the morning!
Same with the love letters you used to pass each other during class - handwritten vows of I’ll love you forever are a thing of the past. I think ur gr8, and I luv u are the norm - and you’re less likely to be humiliated by the teacher catching the note and reading it out loud for the amusement of 30 of your classmates.
We aren’t growing out of it either. Aussie singles send almost double the amount of SMS in a week than couples do. And most are sent on a Friday between 7-8, prime flirting time at the pub. Most men have admitted they can say things in a text that they would not be able to say in person - see; SMS is the evolution of the mate being sent across the school yard.
Texting is like the McHappy meal of the communications world. It’s quick, easy and cheap. But that doesn’t mean it’s always good for you. How many of us have misinterpreted a text, been dumped by a text, or been interrupted rudely by a text during a date? Or worse still -Simone Warne style - found out your lover has been leaving the back door open for everyone but you, by a simple miss-sent sms?
Simply put, text messages are like men - half the time they make you happy and put a spring in your step, the other half they are a pain in the posterior. So it’s time to establish some rules.
Vodafone offered up 5 top tips for text etiquette.
1 - It’s never ok to dump via text
2 - Send your text to the right person
3 - Don’t text under the influence
4 - Reply within the hour
5 - Keep texts short and snappy.
They are tops but I’d like to elaborate. Now I do acknowledge that a text can be a saviour on a bad date-oops my friend is having an emergency - gotta go - text you later. But placing your phone on the restaurant table willing it to beep is rude. In fact texting on a date is as bad as a phone conversation.
Replying to a text days after a date with ‘Sorry I’ve been busy at work’ is a copout. If you didn’t dig the date, text back straight away and be honest. However, it’s poor form to dump someone you’ve been seeing for a while via text. I’d rather be dumped with a post-it note a.k.a. Carrie from Sex in the city: I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me. At least it’s hand-written.
Guys, stick to the rule - if you wouldn’t say it to her face, don’t say it via text. A girlfriend of mine spent a few days getting to know a guy via phone conversations. She thought he was lovely, and then out of the blue he sent a text describing what he’d like to do to her. It wasn’t flattering and she never spoke to him again.
Don’t ever let the first I love you be via text. Save your textual feelings for after the big 3 words are said, orally, looking deeply into each other’s eyes.
Finally, friends don’t let drunk friends text - especially after a break up. Confiscate the phone, lose it in the taxi or shove it in a fat roll. If you are a good mate, don’t let the flood of text regret wash over your friend the same time their teeth start watering and last night’s kebab is expelled from their body.
If we mind our manners when it comes to texting, it may just keep the romance alive or at least limit the humiliation.
Same with the love letters you used to pass each other during class - handwritten vows of I’ll love you forever are a thing of the past. I think ur gr8, and I luv u are the norm - and you’re less likely to be humiliated by the teacher catching the note and reading it out loud for the amusement of 30 of your classmates.
We aren’t growing out of it either. Aussie singles send almost double the amount of SMS in a week than couples do. And most are sent on a Friday between 7-8, prime flirting time at the pub. Most men have admitted they can say things in a text that they would not be able to say in person - see; SMS is the evolution of the mate being sent across the school yard.
Texting is like the McHappy meal of the communications world. It’s quick, easy and cheap. But that doesn’t mean it’s always good for you. How many of us have misinterpreted a text, been dumped by a text, or been interrupted rudely by a text during a date? Or worse still -Simone Warne style - found out your lover has been leaving the back door open for everyone but you, by a simple miss-sent sms?
Simply put, text messages are like men - half the time they make you happy and put a spring in your step, the other half they are a pain in the posterior. So it’s time to establish some rules.
Vodafone offered up 5 top tips for text etiquette.
1 - It’s never ok to dump via text
2 - Send your text to the right person
3 - Don’t text under the influence
4 - Reply within the hour
5 - Keep texts short and snappy.
They are tops but I’d like to elaborate. Now I do acknowledge that a text can be a saviour on a bad date-oops my friend is having an emergency - gotta go - text you later. But placing your phone on the restaurant table willing it to beep is rude. In fact texting on a date is as bad as a phone conversation.
Replying to a text days after a date with ‘Sorry I’ve been busy at work’ is a copout. If you didn’t dig the date, text back straight away and be honest. However, it’s poor form to dump someone you’ve been seeing for a while via text. I’d rather be dumped with a post-it note a.k.a. Carrie from Sex in the city: I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me. At least it’s hand-written.
Guys, stick to the rule - if you wouldn’t say it to her face, don’t say it via text. A girlfriend of mine spent a few days getting to know a guy via phone conversations. She thought he was lovely, and then out of the blue he sent a text describing what he’d like to do to her. It wasn’t flattering and she never spoke to him again.
Don’t ever let the first I love you be via text. Save your textual feelings for after the big 3 words are said, orally, looking deeply into each other’s eyes.
Finally, friends don’t let drunk friends text - especially after a break up. Confiscate the phone, lose it in the taxi or shove it in a fat roll. If you are a good mate, don’t let the flood of text regret wash over your friend the same time their teeth start watering and last night’s kebab is expelled from their body.
If we mind our manners when it comes to texting, it may just keep the romance alive or at least limit the humiliation.
8.7.12
Porn is the new sex-ed.
Something kids need to know about porn.
By: Mia Freedman.
Sunday July 8, 2012.
Think very carefully before you invite me over for dinner. Because if there’s a lull in the conversation, I may say something like this: “Porn is the new sex education – doesn’t that freak you out?” It’s a rhetorical question because of course it freaks you out and if it doesn’t, you’re an ostrich.
Lately I’ve had many dinner party conversations with ostriches about porn and they’re staggeringly predictable. The women at the table are usually silent while the men are dismissive.
Me: “I worry about today’s teens. They’re exposed to so much porn before they even have sex.”
Ostrich Bloke: “Pah. Porn isn’t new. It was around when we were younger. Never did us any harm. [Insert chuckle]”
Me: “But it’s on a whole other level now.”
Bloke: “Nah, boys have always watched porn. We were swapping videos in high school. It’s the same thing.”
Oh but it’s not. It’s really, really not. You see, passing around a video 25 years ago could not be more different to a teen’s experience of porn in 2012.
Here’s why:
1. NOW YOU CAN WATCH PORN AT SCHOOL
Before porn was available online, you had to wait until your mate snuck you a VHS. Then you had to wait until the house was empty so you could use the video player. You watched that video again and again until you had to pass it to another mate. Computers changed the game. Suddenly you had access to unlimited amounts of free porn in the privacy of your bedroom. Variety. Access. Quantity. Woot. Smartphones were an even more dramatic revolution because now porn is PORTABLE. You can watch it at the bus-stop. In bed. On the train. In traffic. You can take it into the bathroom. You can watch it at recess or even during geography if you turn off the sound and keep it hidden from your teacher’s view. And that’s what many teens are doing.
2. KIDS ARE WATCHING PORN BEFORE THEY HAVE SEX
Remember losing your virginity? When you were stumbling and fumbling your way through your first sexual experience, you probably hadn’t seen much porn. If any. You had no blueprint for how you or your partner should behave. Today kids see porn before they’ve had sex or even their first kiss. The average age of first exposure to porn is 11 and most kids have seen it by age 15. And yet the average Australian teenager has their first sexual experience at 16.
Think about what that means. The first time they do it, their mental hard drive will be filled with images of pornstar sex – which is driven by money not pleasure. The men are huge. The women are hairless and often surgically altered. The sex itself is extreme to capture the attention of a jaded market. And teenagers will try to emulate what they’ve seen.
3. PORN SEX ISN’T REAL SEX
No need for vivid details but let’s agree that porn is not necessarily indicative of what women enjoy in real life. There’s one type of sex in particular (I asked Twitter to help me with a suitable euphemism and the winner was: “pushing legislation through the lower house”) that features in almost 100% of mainstream porn. And it’s led to a generation mistakenly believing it’s up there with free shoes and Ryan Gosling on the list of Things Women Love. It’s not.
Here’s something most people don’t know: women in porn scenes are paid twice as much for anal sex (US$1500) as they are for the regular kind (US$750). Same with prostitutes. What does this tell us? That many women – including those who are paid- don’t enjoy it. And yet current porn sends the opposite message very loudly. Porn is full of anal sex.
Then there’s this: 88 per cent of scenes in best-selling porn films included physical aggression and 48 per cent of scenes included verbal aggression, according to leading porn researcher Marree Crabbe. She notes that porn gives its viewers “really unhealthy messages” about what women enjoy and how they should be treated during sex.
And increasingly, those viewers are teens that haven’t even had sex yet and have no other frame of reference for what to expect or how to behave. Ms Crabbe notes that many of the young men she interviewed “expressed surprise that their partners did not do what they asked without hesitating and did not want to follow the ‘script’ of pornographic videos.”
So no, we’re not in Kansas anymore Toto. Porn has changed the way a generation thinks about sex. Yeah, but what can we do?
Well, we can’t stop it. Smartphones and smart kids have made net nannies and filters almost redundant. Some experts say porn education should be included in school sex education programs (like teachers don’t have it tough enough!). I think awareness of this new porn/sex reality is crucial. I also think parents need to have some age-appropriate conversations with our kids. Yes, it will be awkward. So. Very. Awkward. But ultimately, this kind of candour, honesty and education is crucial if we want our kids to grow up with healthy attitudes to sex both for themselves and their future partners.
When did you first see porn? Do you think things are very different now?
1.7.12
Ladies and gentlemen: can you tell me, what’s in a name?
Hot Ranger Boy, Miner Man or Mr Muscles. Single Aussie ladies on the prowl are no more using real names when talking up their latest hot date to their girlfriends over lattes. The dating name, alias, pseudonym or whatever you want to call it is alive and well.
Sometimes nicknames are attached because said hot date’s real name is far too embarrassing to utter i.e. Kevin, Nigel or Bevan (apologies to Kevins, Nigels and Bevans who are reading this right now). And let’s be honest, if you do meet a really really delicious Bevan who’s your knight in shining armour, calling him Bevan before your friends have met him conjures a certain image. Calling him Gentle Giant or Sex God is far more appealing. By the time your circle of friends meet him they are champing at the bit to perve on the muscles you’ve been raving about and are likely to forget his mother’s moment of insanity at birth.
Nicole Carrington, editor of Image Westside and Logan magazines commented that men have to earn their name before it is debuted in conversation and when emailing and texting your mates it’s easier to type HRB for Hot Ranger Boy or MM for Mr Muscles. A made-up name is a way to safeguard both the gentleman’s identity and the likelihood that three dates down the track he stops calling for no particular reason. Mr Arsehole!
It’s not just a phenomenon that the girls are latching on to. Men are using pet names also; sometimes they aren’t so flattering and most of the time describes certain features of their new squeeze like Hot Legs or Big Tits. Still that really isn’t an insult, if he was calling you the Princess, you can bet your bottom dollar you’re high maintenance.
Sometimes nicknames are attached because said hot date’s real name is far too embarrassing to utter i.e. Kevin, Nigel or Bevan (apologies to Kevins, Nigels and Bevans who are reading this right now). And let’s be honest, if you do meet a really really delicious Bevan who’s your knight in shining armour, calling him Bevan before your friends have met him conjures a certain image. Calling him Gentle Giant or Sex God is far more appealing. By the time your circle of friends meet him they are champing at the bit to perve on the muscles you’ve been raving about and are likely to forget his mother’s moment of insanity at birth.
Nicole Carrington, editor of Image Westside and Logan magazines commented that men have to earn their name before it is debuted in conversation and when emailing and texting your mates it’s easier to type HRB for Hot Ranger Boy or MM for Mr Muscles. A made-up name is a way to safeguard both the gentleman’s identity and the likelihood that three dates down the track he stops calling for no particular reason. Mr Arsehole!
It’s not just a phenomenon that the girls are latching on to. Men are using pet names also; sometimes they aren’t so flattering and most of the time describes certain features of their new squeeze like Hot Legs or Big Tits. Still that really isn’t an insult, if he was calling you the Princess, you can bet your bottom dollar you’re high maintenance.
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