AT THIS time of year, the media is full of articles and lists that trawl back through the last 12 months, reminding us of the newsworthy events that shaped our recent annus mirabilis.
We get to relive the tragedy, sorrow, scandal and hilarity that made up our current affairs existence between Christmases.Usually these lists are conveyed with sombre gravitas, concentrating on the world-changing significance of events - what they will mean for humankind in the realms of politics, sport, environment, technology and entertainment.
It gets interesting, though, when you compare these lists to summaries of what people have been typing into internet search engines during the year.You may have worked your whole life to attain fame, skills or social standing, studied or practised or slogged away for your deserved slice of history, but when it comes down to it, you'll be remembered and Google-searched for just one thing. And honey, it ain't the thing you want. Take, for example:
Julian Assange
THE internet activist founded WikiLeaks, a site that exposes previously secret information of political and social import.
He's seen by some as a dangerous threat to security and international relations but by others as a visionary and a crusader for free speech.
Assange worked as a computer programmer, journalist and hacker before deciding he could affect potential change in what he regarded as unjust regimes by leaking private information.
What he will be Googled for: Alleged naughty acts with Swedish ladies.
Tiger Woods
A PRODIGIOUS golfer of unprecedented talent, skill and success, Woods has, for all intents and purposes, rewritten the story of golf.
Major tournaments throughout his career became simply a matter of who would come second, and international companies clamoured for endorsement opportunities.
What he will be remembered for: Cheating on his wife. A lot. And perhaps for jokes containing the word "wood".
The Chilean mine disaster
IN AUGUST, an accident in a mine in Copiapo, Chile, left 33 miners trapped underground for more than two months.
The world watched, transfixed, in October as every single miner emerged alive, ready to label the rescue as either a triumph of human skill and persistence or a miracle, depending on their beliefs.
As each previously-trapped individual was squirted out of the right end of the rescue tube, we cried real tears and marvelled at their stamina.
What it will be remembered for: Miner Yonni Barrios, whose wife and mistress waited for him to emerge. Admittedly, there may also be some Google searches by those curious about how the miners went to the toilet for 69 days but it's mostly Yonni's show.
Prince William
THE late Princess Diana's most crumpet-esque son, William has been in the public eye since foetus-hood.
We've watched him complete his education, wear dashing military uniforms, shake hands with countless international dignitaries and do good work for an impressive number of causes and charities.
In November, after seven years of courtship, William finally proposed to girlfriend Kate Middleton, causing a heart-fluttering frenzy of media attention and pearl-clutching.
What we're most concerned about: His bald spot.
Julia Gillard
GILLARD has a long stream of achievements, from a law career to an early interest in politics that led her to become deputy prime minister in 2007.
In June last year, Gillard replaced Kevin Rudd as the party leader and Prime Minister, an act which some saw as a timely and significant change of leadership, and some saw as a good old traditional schoolyard back-stabbing.
She led the ALP to the narrowest of tentative victories in September after some almost interminably long speeches by at least one independent. She is known for being godless, childless, and weddingless.
What we actually talk about: Her boyfriend is an ex-hairdresser. How does her hair look today?
Michael Clarke
"PUP" debuted as a cricketer for the NSW team when he was still, well, a pup. His massive potential saw him make his Australian team debut in 2003, his Test debut in 2004, and eventually his debut as captain in the Fifth Test of the 2010/11 Ashes series. Dotting the scoreboard with centuries throughout his career and winning the Alan Border Medal in 2005, it's been firmly established that Clarke can bat, bowl and be a team leader.
What we really want to know: If his ex-fiancee Lara Bingle really threw her engagement ring in the crapper.
Oprah Winfrey
AUSTRALIA was besieged by Oprah Fever and its associated audience members, as the talk show host took a whistle-stop tour Down Under.
Getting her start in media at the age of 19, Winfrey has since managed to feature prominently in lists headed by words like "richest", "highest-rating", "award-winning" and "most influential".
From a background of childhood hardship, she clawed her way to supremacy with her determination and business nous. She has scored exclusive interviews with reclusive interviewees, reached an unprecedented number of viewers, and amassed a mind-boggling fortune that she shares with people who need it.
She's boosted more careers and book sales than you've had hot dinners, and has dabbled in radio, acting, writing and magazine publishing.
What we actually seem to be interested in: What she's eating, what the deal is with her bestie Gayle King, and Tom Cruise's shoe-prints on her couch.
Sarah Murdoch
SARAH Murdoch, statuesque beauty and wearer of familiarly branded smalls, easily thumbs her nose in the face of the dumb model stereotype.
Articulate, personable and endearing, she's been a Bonds girl, a fill-in host for the Today show, a figurehead for charities, television host and producer, and producer of heirs.
Her standards are as high as her cheekbones, she is the patron (saint) of the National Breast Cancer Foundation, involving herself tirelessly with fundraising and awareness.
What she'll be remembered for: Mistakenly announcing the wrong winner during the Australia's Next Top Model finale last year.
Justin Bieber
SINGING brat who badly needs a haircut.
What he'll be remembered for: Nothing. Relax. There'll be another one of him along in a minute.
No comments:
Post a Comment