How much for one pair of socks? Five dollars, but if you spend $10 you get three pairs.

 “You can get three pairs for $10.” “Sure, but I only need one pair please. So how much for one?” “Five dollars, but if you spend $10 you get three pairs.” “Then the pair of socks costs me $10.” “But you get THREE!” At this point the conversation started to resemble something from an Abbott and Costello movie. “But I only want one!” “But you can get three.” And on it went…..
 Thank heavens I had a bus to catch and a $5 bill in my hand. I’m susceptible to a bit of up-selling at the best of times, but having a spare 20 minutes before I have to go home makes me a sitting duck. Up-selling, cross-selling, whatever they call it, is gradually losing its charm. You walk into a petrol station to pay for your petrol and walk out with a receipt and three Mars bars. You enter a hardware superstore chasing a small tine of paint, then exit juggling a jumbo pack of AA batteries, two cans of WD-40, and a garden lantern. I feel as if we’re being trained by a new class of evildoers.
 I understand the old school. Every optometrist graduated from that institution. A basic fee for assessment before you get to choose your polarised ($30) non-scratching ($20) titanium ($50) spare pair of frames always ends with “And would you like one of those modern and totally essential retinal scan-type premium packages with the glasses?” ($150). It’s not hard to see those ones coming, but it’s the new generation of up/down-sells I fear. Like the socks. Dropping the price but somehow making us spend more. That $30 DVD player seemed like a bargain until I bought an extra year’s warranty.
 And who’s the supermarket genius who invented the yellow specials tag? That’s the little discount slip that acts like a hare to a greyhound. What?! I can get 17 cents a unit off tasty cheese? Of course I’ll buy two for $5! And just next door is a yellow sticker with ‘Any 3 for $6’. Who cares if I don’t need English Lite Ham? Try telling my brain that. “Can’t you see the yellow discount sticker?” Low-fat toasted ham sandwiches can be served for dinner and breakfast for a week……can’t they?
 I’ll continue my own private resistance against the up-sell, but I admit it’s getting harder. I may even give in to the ‘buy two, get one free’ ink cartridge offer in the Officeworks catalogue. I do need at least one of those ink cartridges. And I do need at least four AAA batteries. A trip there wouldn’t hurt. At least they don’t sell socks.