Does txting make u want to gr8 ur teeth?!

 Let’s talk about textual attraction. I don’t get it. I’d like to un-subscribe. Call me old-fashioned but when texting, I prefer a conversation with no gr8’s or lol’s. However, as with the election, I’m forced to participate.  I’m not alone. 250 million texts whiz around Aussieland every month. How many people, I wonder, are like me and cringe when I hear that little beep beep? Especially at 4- flipping- o’clock in the morning!   We’ve become a text addicted nation - and it’s starting as young as 12. Instead of mates being sent across the school yard to tell you Jack said he fancies you, and he wants to meet you in the sports shed at big lunch, it’s being done via text.  No wonder there’s an obesity problem, there’s no more running to and fro the playground with messages of love. 
  Same with the love letters you used to pass each other during class - handwritten vows of I’ll love you forever are a thing of the past. I think ur gr8, and I luv u are the norm - and you’re less likely to be humiliated by the teacher catching the note and reading it out loud for the amusement of 30 of your classmates.
  We aren’t growing out of it either. Aussie singles send almost double the amount of SMS in a week than couples do. And most are sent on a Friday between 7-8, prime flirting time at the pub. Most men have admitted they can say things in a text that they would not be able to say in person - see; SMS is the evolution of the mate being sent across the school yard.
  Texting is like the McHappy meal of the communications world. It’s quick, easy and cheap. But that doesn’t mean it’s always good for you. How many of us have misinterpreted a text, been dumped by a text, or been interrupted rudely by a text during a date?  Or worse still -Simone Warne style - found out your lover has been leaving the back door open for everyone but you, by a simple miss-sent sms?
  Simply put, text messages are like men - half the time they make you happy and put a spring in your step, the other half they are a pain in the posterior. So it’s time to establish some rules.
Vodafone offered up 5 top tips for text etiquette.
1 - It’s never ok to dump via text
2 - Send your text to the right person
3 - Don’t text under the influence
4 - Reply within the hour
5 - Keep texts short and snappy.
  They are tops but I’d like to elaborate. Now I do acknowledge that a text can be a saviour on a bad date-oops my friend is having an emergency - gotta go - text you later. But placing your phone on the restaurant table willing it to beep is rude. In fact texting on a date is as bad as a phone conversation.     
  Replying to a text days after a date with ‘Sorry I’ve been busy at work’ is a copout. If you didn’t dig the date, text back straight away and be honest. However, it’s poor form to dump someone you’ve been seeing for a while via text. I’d rather be dumped with a post-it note a.k.a. Carrie from Sex in the city: I’m sorry, I can’t, don’t hate me. At least it’s hand-written.
  Guys, stick to the rule - if you wouldn’t say it to her face, don’t say it via text. A girlfriend of mine spent a few days getting to know a guy via phone conversations. She thought he was lovely, and then out of the blue he sent a text describing what he’d like to do to her. It wasn’t flattering and she never spoke to him again.
  Don’t ever let the first I love you be via text. Save your textual feelings for after the big 3 words are said, orally, looking deeply into each other’s eyes.
  Finally, friends don’t let drunk friends text - especially after a break up. Confiscate the phone, lose it in the taxi or shove it in a fat roll. If you are a good mate, don’t let the flood of text regret wash over your friend the same time their teeth start watering and last night’s kebab is expelled from their body.
 If we mind our manners when it comes to texting, it may just keep the romance alive or at least limit the humiliation.