Things that go bump in the night.....

This story was sent to me in an e-mail and thought it was amusing and thought I'd share it with you. Enjoy!

 Ladies, if you’ve ever slept at home sans your man folk, this next little tale with leave you goose pimply. And you will, like me, sympathize whole heartedly with my girlfriend Sarah who, while home alone encountered an intruder and called the police.

  When I’m home alone I have a little ritual. I lock ALL the doors and windows and check them twice, then close all the doors to all the rooms in the house. I put some manly clothes on the line and a pair of big work boots at the front door. I’m told that scares the burglars away as they think a man is home. Don’t laugh- I haven’t been robbed yet so it MUST work!
  Then I grab all the phones and some sort of weapon to sleep with. Not a knife-they may use that against you. I’ve been told a rolling pin is good, but as I don’t own one, don’t cook much, I use a wooden spoon. It comforts me to know that if someone breaks in, I’ll totally surprise them when I whip out the spoon and smack them round the head a couple of times, and maybe call them a naughty boy in the process. That should have them running and screaming out the door, never to return, shouldn’t it? Well my friend Sarah kinda did all of the above and STILL had a man infiltrate the family compound.
  Sarah has a new baby, and Hubby was away on business. She put her little one down to sleep, did the burglar proofing ritual for the home and went to bed. A few hours later she woke to the sounds of a man tapping on the doors and windows and whispering ‘is anyone home?’ Naturally she ‘FREAKED THE HELL OUT!!” She didn’t recognize the voice, and rightly assumed that the Mormons aren’t that desperate to recruit people to Jesus at 2 in the morning.  Besides, it didn’t matter who it was, she sure as hell wasn’t going to answer the door in the middle of the night. So she did what came naturally and hid under the bed. But not before grabbing her iPhone, which promptly lit up like a disco. So here she was, under the bed, in nothing but a t-shirt, lying on her iPhone to mask the light and breathing as quietly as she could, praying her daughter wouldn’t wake and cry alerting the intruder.
  Then the man did something very strange. He turned on the taps outside and started muttering ‘I found you didn’t I, I found you?” So she assumed he may have been either crazy, or crazy. At this stage she realized she needed manly help. So she rang her husband. Fat lot of good he could do in Adelaide or where ever he was. As he answered the phone she hoarsely whispered ‘call the police!’ he answered with a groggy ‘What?” again she said ‘call the police” panicked he asked ‘WHY?” , ‘Just call the police” she urgently whispered one more time and hung up, praying he would.
  He did, and 15 minutes later, 2 police cars, 6 police and one sniffer dog appeared like knights in shining armour to rescue this housewife in distress. Hauling herself from under the bed, in haste she thought, I’m in no state to answer the door. So she ran to the dresser to spritz on some perfume and promptly forgot to put on pants and answered the door in nothing but a t-shirt.
  But the Queensland Police are quite used to people (namely colleagues) running around in the nude-so this didn’t faze them. By now the intruder had escaped, perhaps frightened off by the blaring police sirens, so a few questions were asked and the sniffer dog was off and chasing the scent. Which he cleverly found and it led him next door. The next door neighbours were already awake. It seems the intruder had knocked on their door also. But why? Why was this intruder wandering around the streets of Brisbane knocking on doors and asking is anyone home?
  Turns out Sarah’s dog had escaped. The intruder, now a Good Samaritan, had found him and bought him home. The running water was him giving the dog a drink, and he went to the neighbours after assuming no-one was home to inform them the dog was getting out and to let Sarah know. And then went on his merry way. Utterly dying of embarrassment, in nothing but her t-shirt, but smelling quite lovely, Sarah thanked the police and went to bed. She still doesn’t know who the Good Samaritan is, but she now sleeps with the dog inside and wears pants.