You don't need an iPad.

 Is there anything you need less in your life than a 3D television set? I saw a newspaper advertisement for one at the weekend featuring a family wearing crazy old-lady sunglasses watching a lion jump out of their TV screen and on to their coffee table. That's just what you need when you take your one hour to relax after dinner: a man-eating predator leaping at your face so you can see its goolies. Where do I purchase one?

 Bizarrely, however, gadget boys, and journalists are making squirrel noises because they can now watch the World Cup or the State of Origin in 3D, which reminds me of the derricks who got excited about those mini TVs in the 1980s. And boy, didn't they catch on...

 About the only thing you need less than a 3D TV set is a friggin' iPad and, seriously, any person who actually queues up to buy this sort of stuff really needs to re-examine their priorities in life. Look, buy one if you must (I'll wait 2 years I reckon), but honestly, there are other tried and tested technologies that give you far more bang for your buck and are easily more life changing. TV in three dimensions and an over-sized iPhone might give some people a stiffy but I reckon there's other pieces of white man's magic that's muuuuuch cheaper and, for my money, provides far more value. Like:

Rice cookers:

 Anyone boiling rice in a pot is an idiot. A quarter of a billion Asian households and 25,000 Chinese takeaway stores can't be wrong. You know why steamed rice at those places tastes 10 times better than what's coming out of your pot at home? A rice cooker. They cost $50.

Foxtel:

 It gets a bad rap but if you think "there's nothing on", then you're not looking. Between the astounding amount of sport, movies, news (I mean ASTOUNDING) and dramas such as The Wire, Madmen, Breaking Bad and Love My Way, suck-you-in reality shows such as Project Runway (Australia and US) and the original British Master Chef, as well as Seinfeld repeats, you can fill your brain with useless crap for life (and that is all pretty much on the basic package).
Foxtel IQ:

 My friend swears by this - though she does have 2 and 3/4 children. "Find someone who's got one to show you what it does. You won't know how you lived without it. If you think there's nothing on Foxtel, this will unlock the value. You will never watch an advertisement, nor aimlessly channel flick ever again" she says. Minor gripe: The memory needs to be bigger.

Peer-to-Peer software:

 Let me sum up the attitude of TV networks to the internet. Say you want to legally catch a US or British TV show online. You click on the site, sit through a 30-second ad with crystal clear picture and audio and then you get this message: "Sorry we're unable to offer this video to viewers in your region." Oh, really? You couldn't have told me that before I gave you a viewing impression for your friggin' foot-long sandwich ad? How about you go get rooted?

 This is one of many reasons I find it hard to generate sympathy for TV networks and film studios when people illegally download their most popular products before they arrive in this country. Until the networks realize this sort of instant, global download is the way forward and learn how to make it simpler and easier than pirating, they'll continue to lose viewership. If a person is technically savvy enough to want to watch a show online, you think they'll say "Gosh, it's not available in my region; I better wait 18 months and not download it from the 4000 illegal torrent sites that are two clicks away on my mouse."
 Seriously, I know movie nuts that haven't been to a video store in two years because of Vuze and uTorrent. Which isn’t all bad for the producers: you want eyeballs on your product and, even if 25 per cent of your audience is via illegal downloads, people are still talking about your show or movie and turning on other viewers. Suck it up, networks.

People-who-read/bought-this-also-read/bought-this recommendation tool on Amazon:                                                       For those of us who have a very specific taste in books, this feature is invaluable.  How the hell else are you going to find something new to read? Christ knows you can't trust most musty, heads-up-their-arse reviewers.

An iPhone or BlackBerry:

 Again, find someone who's got one or the other to show you what they do. You won't know how you lived without it. After that demo, if your next phone is not an iPhone or a BlackBerry, then you're a jackass. Literally, you're as stubborn as a mule.  iPhone gripe: Battery life, and you have to buy a protective cover and anti-glare thingamy.

Foxtel IQ iPhone app:

Goes without saying, doesn't it?

Crock Pot:

 Aka a slow cooker. Once all the rage, then gloriously unfashionable, now making a comeback in a big way. If you're pushed for time, cut up veggies, meat, whatever you want in the morning or night before. Set it to cook and, by the time you get home, you've got a meal that tastes like it was worried over by a 70-year-old Italian papa for 10 hours. They cost about $50. Download your 1300 Crockpot Recipes eBook for free and away you go.

Honourable mentions:  
 It's a given that the internet is the greatest invention of my lifetime, followed closely by iPods, GPS navigation, laptop computers and in-shower radios. I can't bring myself to put any video game console down here because they once ate my life. Feel free to nominate your own piece of technology.