Printer not working? Copy that!

 Abraham Lincoln, among others, is attributed with saying: “A man may be measured by the company he keeps.” To this, I would add: “The true nature of a person may be measured by their approach to the office photocopier.”

 The office photocopier-cum-printer, that silent bastion sitting in the corner, seems to bring out the best, and worst, of human behaviour without much effort. Especially when it breaks down.

 The Myer-Briggs Type Indicator identifies 16 separate character traits in the general population. The office copier has likewise led me to identify the following office types:

The company man: a generally all-round nice chap, must be seen to be fixing the machine if his print job jammed it. Pokes at the display panel, may try to open a panel (which causes the machine to switch off), then fetches the office manager to help.

The real company man: same as above but quietly and singlehandedly fixes the problem and resumes printing. Is practising for when he is appointed to open the new office in an emerging, Third World city and will have no support staff to help him.

The IT technician: English may not be his native language and/or he isn’t naturally talkative but watch him walk through an office, eyes darting left and right, checking each machine, whether desktop or floor-standing, is switched on and working. Incapable of ignoring a blinking light; in one minute he removes jammed paper, rights stuck paper drawers, changes toner cartridges and untangles cables.

Senior manager (and army reservist): is proud of his Army Reserve activities and unconsciously tries to instil military-like precision into the civilian population of an office. Marches to the broken machine, surveys and isolates the problem(s) in seconds, barks at a subordinate to attend him, points to the relevant lever or panel and supervises (with arms crossed) the fix.

Generation Y (also graduate trainees): never having faced anything more complicated than a PlayStation, reads the display panel’s instructions for which lever or panel to pull out and remove jammed paper. Is unable to identify lever A or panel C as it doesn’t have a blinking light and wishes Mum or Dad were here to bail him out.

The PA: won’t touch any levers or panels for fear of breaking manicured nails. Finds the office manager, IT technician or go-to person and wheedles them into unjamming the machine.

The real PA/EA: didn’t rise to their present position by being useless. Quietly and calmly inspects the machine, notes blinking lights, calls the IT technician and ascertains if it’s a quick fix. If not, phones the copier company and quietly but firmly insists upon a service technician attending immediately. Handwrites a sign on A4 paper and places it on the machine to warn off colleagues.

Office manager (and go-to person): home handyman, can fix anything, and gets the job done. Usually unacknowledged, unrewarded, overlooked and desperately missed when he resigns or decides to take early retirement.

Contract staff and consultants: consider the copier as personal property. Don’t believe in queuing or stooping to unjamming paper (they don’t hold an MBA just to fix the copier). The true contractors bring in their own Hewlett-Packard desktop copier/scanner/printer and attach it to their laptops, thereby isolating it from other staff. And which one are you?