Understand the mouse trap.

 In the office, in the home, the mouse is the modern-day courier. Scurrying around under your fingertips as you sit at the computer, the mouse is a highly efficient messenger, moving around important, well, messages.

 If you are not familiar with all the facets of the mouse, the following glossary is an essential reference for your home and your office. First, let’s consider if the mouse is a messenger misnomer. Could our reliable courier of critical information not have been called another critter?

 For example, what about the gazelle? It’s fast, smooth, can cover great distances with ease. But we are talking about modern technology. That won’t work. What about an Aussie version? The wombat, maybe? After a bit of a sleep-in, it grudgingly pushes around what information it can forage before retiring again for a nap. It has potential – but hold on – some species are endangered and we can’t have something that will become obsolete.

 A dog? It has lots of experience in moving information around. Sure, in the form of newspapers, so it may have to update its skills but it does follow commands. Well, most of the time. What if you needed it to fetch some information for your 10am meeting and it played dead instead? Hmm...

 So, the mouse it is, and it appears we have a plague of them at work and around the house. Let’s open the manual.

GLOSSARY:

Mouse: A small, hairy animal with four legs and a tail.

Hard drive: What the mouse experiences when the traffic is heavy and time is of the essence.

Mouse mat: Where the mouse likes to take a nap after a hard drive, usually in front of the fire.

Log on: What you need to do to the fire to keep the mouse warm.

Log in: The mouse is now warm. Thank you.

Log off: Don’t upset the mouse.

Log out: You have upset the mouse. Now it’s hungry.

Apple: What the mouse likes to eat.

Megabyte: What a very hungry mouse takes out of the apple.

App: A small apple for a mouse that is not so hungry.

Microsoft app: A very small and squishy apple.

Mouse over: The apple was bad and now the mouse is dead. Or does it just have flat batteries?

Right click the mouse: Turn the mouse on its side and click your fingers to see if it moves.

Left click the mouse: Turn the mouse on its other side and click your other fingers to see if it moves. No? Then call the help desk. That’s right, even the furniture is smarter than you. And you will need to speak its language to understand even the simplest of instructions. These basic terms may help.

Boot: Kick the computer to get it going. But that’s how all this mouse mess started!

Reboot: Again? Now we really are asking for trouble.

Backed up: That’s what you should have done to avoid this mouse mess.

Shut down: What your brain does when it’s had enough of technology. I recommend you grab a glass of wine and go and sit in front of the fire. Just mind the dead mouse.