The endless search for a happy medium.

 Someone shrunk the Weet-Bix (Aussie breakfast cereal). And the chocolate bars (NOOOOOOOOO!!!!). And the number of sheets on the toilet roll (GGGRRR). I’m starting to feel like Gulliver in Lilliput, my giant bratwurst fingers fumbling to pick up teeny tiny things. It’s a case of sizus extremis (great use of the Latin language there huh!?).
 Everything seems to be getting smaller. Or bigger. There’s no happy medium anymore. Take one of my favourite things – alcohol. A bottle of spirits has shrunk from 750ml to 700ml, while a stubby (bottle of beer) has evaporated from 375ml to 330ml. In the wonderful world of wine – and this is actually a good thing – Lindeman’s has reduced the alcohol in its latest Sweet Seasons range by 25 percent.
 Micro salads are sprouting, ideal for the emaciated supermodel (“I simply couldn’t eat another micro lettuce leaf! I’ll bust out of my size 0’s!”). Meanwhile, the new iPod Nano is almost microscopic. A US comedy show has cleverly unveiled the iPod iNvisa, prompting a fictitious Bill Gates to declare, “The iPod iNvisa has no clothes!”
 Then there’s the other end of the spectrum, where bigger is better and biggest is the best. The Hummer. The Qantas A380. McDonald’s has the curious honour of holding records for both big and small. It created the “super size me” phenomenon, then shrank its Big Mac. Now that’s irony. What about coffee? “Would you like large or grande? Piccolo or macchiato?” the Starbucks attendant asks. “Err I just want a medium.” “Righto, one ‘tall’ coming up!” he beams. I guess Starbucks is an oxymoron anyway.
 Fortunately, some giant trends have gone the way of the dinosaurs. Remember the Seinfeld episode where Kramer creates a coffee table book that actually flips out to become a real coffee table? Ballina’s Big Prawn is boarded up, but Byron’s Big Bong just keeps on keeping on.
 It all makes me wonder: why do we change the size of things instead of improving their functionality? The principal of “form follows function” doesn’t seem to apply to everyday life. Where is the easy-to-open olive jar, the non-shrink-wrapped child’s toy, or the flatbread that doesn’t tear when you roll it up? But maybe it’s all about perception.
 One friend reckons things aren’t getting smaller: we’re just getting bigger. Maybe we’re in a parallel universe like in the old TV series Land Of the Giants? She also claims companies are making things smaller so we feel bigger. That would explain mobile phones and clothes. “I feel so tall and powerful holding this flimsy phone. I could crush it with my massive hand! But I won’t, because I’m waiting on a call from my hairdresser.” And so on.
 Anyway, I’m off to find some tweezers to extract the wafer-thin Weet-Bix from their shrunken box. Ahhh, the sweet joys of consumerism......